i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
