MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
