I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
