question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
