just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
