If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
