he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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