hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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