That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
