i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
