The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
