My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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