Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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