you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
