I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
