You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
