you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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