being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
