I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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