Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
