you guys were way drunker than both of me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
