I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
