so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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