I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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