i'm signing you up for texting rehab
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
