my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
