What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The beer is more important than you right now.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
should my penis look like a turkey
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
