hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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