Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Duck Duck Cougar?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
