It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
