the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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