i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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