i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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