that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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