carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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