sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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