i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
