Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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