She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize