i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
jump out the window naked night went bad
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
