lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
