Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My ATM looks so different sober.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize