You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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