I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
