what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
