My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
so much tequila, so little girl.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
