You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
