i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
