You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
