Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you didnt know i had herpes?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Pants are for mortals
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
