He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
