I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
