I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
