giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize