you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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