was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We talked him into tasing himself.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
