Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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